Defining Cat: Grooming

There are many things that set cats apart from other animals in the world, but one of the most important is our high standard of grooming. Dogs, squirrels, and other stupid animals will occasionally groom themselves, especially if they have just eaten or if they are itchy, but very few animals will sit down to give themselves a thorough cleaning and arranging every day.

There are many steps to the full Cat spa treatment, and so often you will see us spread them out throughout the day. This gives us a chance to take breaks for other important things such as eating, sleeping, and looking out the window.  Below is a list of the most common grooming targets. When you see us attending to them, please leave us to our work and know that we are basking in the relaxation of becoming a better-looking Cat.

The Fur – Most often, we will be grooming our fur. This involves a great deal of licking (and an occasional chewing to deal with tough mats in the fur.) Our fur is our most obviously beautiful feature, and it is critical that it be in good condition as often as possible.

The Face – When cleaning the face, we lick a front paw and then use it to rub the eyes, nose, and ears. We will repeat this more than seems necessary, because the face is the second most obviously beautiful feature.

The Toes – Cleaning between the toes is a delicate and sometimes frustrating business. (You do realize we have twenty of them, yes?) Unless a cat has walked through something unpleasant, however, we will likely not clean all of them every day.

The Delicate Bits – These get cleaned quite often as well, because we use them several times a day over the litter box, and no one likes to have their delicate bits dirty. It is important to have plenty of space around when cleaning them, to properly air them out. The middle of a room is best – especially if there are other people in the room. A good angle of contortion allows guests to fully appreciate your fur, your face, your flexibility, AND your delicate bits.

The Teeth – Again, not necessary every day, but it is frustrating to have that one bit of cat food between your teeth, and it will bother us if we can’t get it out. To solve this problem, you will see your cat rubbing his mouth over and chewing on some textured object such as a human toothbrush or hairbrush, mylar wrapping paper, gift ribbon or bows, twine, phone cords, or shoelaces. (And don’t bother trying the “cat toothbrush” with the awful-tasting paste on it; it’s not the same, and you won’t present it to us at the right time anyway.)

The Claws – The properly-groomed cat will have claws that are both clean and sharp, which may be maintained by scratching them on some clean, solid object such as wood, carpet, upholstery, or other natural fibers that offer resistance to scratching. Ideal surfaces will be vertical and taller than a cat’s paws can reach, and include tree trunks, couches, stairs, and tall scratching posts covered in carpet or wrapped twine.

Note: by scolding when a cat displays any aspect of good grooming, you are discouraging your feline companion from maintaining overall good looks, which can result in decreased grooming and eventually, poor self-esteem. And a Cat with poor self-esteem is no Cat at all.

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